Good behavior, please.

I went to school for criminal justice and legal studies … and parties. Definitely double majored in parties, but who didn’t? What we learned (in the actual schooling) in CJ was about different types of criminals and prisoners, amongst many other subjects, but this is the one I wanted to touch on today.

There are many types of people in the world and a good percentage end up going to jail or prison. It’s the sad affairs we live in today, but here we ALL are, stuck in our own little prison. This is anything but a real jail cell, but it’s probably the first time we’ve all had our movements restricted since being punished as a child.

Now, there are different types of criminals/prisoners. There are the few that make new friends and learn trade secrets – hint: it’s not about plumbing.

There are the types that reform themselves. They sit in their cell reading books, meditating, becoming one with the higher power and dedicate themselves to spirituality.

Some educate themselves and prepare for success on the outside, reading books on law, science, math, etc.

Some become artists.

Some become physical fitness gods.

And then some are termed “chronic offenders.” These are the people that go back to doing the same shit and continually end up back in prison. The majority of criminals fall within this category.

We are not criminals, most of us anyways. We’re simply victims of circumstance. China wanted to cook sick bats (what the fuck, China?), someone created a new type of virus, and now we have to hide indoors until smart people figure this shit out… while dumb people continue to spread the virus and make themselves sick beyond their wildest imaginations. I’m looking at you, Florida and Brazil.

Keeping things brief (it’s about consistency, not about churning out 40 pages a day), what kind of “victim of circumstance” are you going to be?

I hope to find myself in some sort of blended category of them all; not so much one or the other, but finding myself in the middle of a Venn Diagram.

Exercising, reading, meditating, playing video games with friends, eating and drinking with my lovely lady, being creative... but not taking a spoon and digging a tunnel into the guards breakroom.

This will come to an end, our prison sentence will conclude (or we’ll be let out early for good behavior…? PULL IT TOGETHER YOU FOOLS! QUIT GATHERING, YOU’RE MAKING THINGS WORSE) and we’ll be let free. Where will you be? Who will you be? How will your time have been spent? We’re all going to have ups and downs, but if we keep grinding and keeping our sanity, we’ll be smiling at the end of this.

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Keep swimming…

Today didn’t start until 9:30am. It’s probably the latest I’ve slept in since … well, I can’t remember the last time I slept so long. Last night I not only drank “sleepytime tea” but I also had 2 “nighttime formula vitamins.” Out like a fucking light and had no intentions of waking up early.

Sometimes I feel like having less time during the day is better; it’s less time to kill. While we’re staying “safe at home” right now, the less time I have to think myself into a state of fear and panic, the better.

It’s now 2pm and still too early for my next dose of caffeine but I’ve accomplished all I set out to do for the day (minus writing this). Journal – check, exercise – check, reading – check… now it’s dealing with the age old questions – “What’s next?”

Well, I’ll be quite honest and I’m sure you can figure out what’s next: Video games. It’s not that I’m aching to play, but while battling the urge to succumb to your fit of madness, video games make for a great distraction.

It’s a distraction from missing all your friends and family, a distraction from having a job, a distraction from existential dread, a distraction from wanting to get more alcohol… but tomorrow is my friend’s birthday so I’ll make sure to have a few pops – but at our respective homes while playing a game together.

Yesterday I went for a drive and changed my surroundings just for an hour. To be outside my immediate neighborhood was beautiful. The sea looked serene, the beach was empty and undisturbed, the trees were starting to bloom and filled with wildlife.

Wait, I’ve got it – we’re living in M. Night. Shamamamallyn’s “The Happening.” That’s it. NATURE IS TRYING TO KILL US OFF… and it makes absolutely no sense. How’s Mark Wahlberg doing with all of this? Is he looking jacked while making confused faces?

The one goal has been to keep my sanity, amongst setting smaller goals with fitness and creativity. Really, I just want to keep myself from having a mental collapse where I fall to the floor in a fetal position and just cry for hours. There have been a few close calls but conditioning yourself to “be a man” for years now makes it difficult to shed actual tears. Even if my eyes well up it feels like just enough steam from the kettle to keep it from exploding.

Now what? I guess more distractions. My opinions are bare, my thoughts are like balls in a juggling act – keep them moving… any sitting still is like a shark that stops swimming.

Elder Scrolls isn’t going to play itself, guys. Might even mix it up and throw in some Call of Duty…

…sigh.

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Sent to my room

Review of yesterday – An escape. It was an escape from the reality that the globe is facing a pandemic, the economy is taking a stinky shit all over the place, and you’re basically stuck at home until further notice.

Yeah, so I played video games for the majority of my day yesterday. I didn’t end up reading, I barely wrote anything, after I exercised I didn’t stretch, and I had a snack after dinner. For shame, right?

I’ll carry the guilt for it. Jump on board with the stupid shit I said 10 years ago when I was upset, the time I killed a headshotted a chipmunk by accident (hiding in a woodpile RIP), or drove my parents’ car down the street and back when they weren’t home and I was 15.

In the grand scheme of things, it’s not a big deal. No one gives a shit. There’s still positives to take out of the day. There was plenty of exercise, healthy eating, writing, social interaction, no alcohol… another day I clung on to the strand of sanity I have left.

There’s positives to pull. Today was fairly similar – excessive video gaming, nothing major accomplished… but it was another day that I held onto my sanity. Every day doesn’t have to be this massive undertaking, especially with the circumstances were in. If holding onto the status quo without falling behind in what kind of life you’ve built is a success, then I’m winning. I still ate healthy, I stretched, drank plenty of water, wrote words on paper, went running… and there’s hope tonight that the book on my nightstand will still get cracked open.

This page is mostly blank. The few words that were written have little to no bearing on this story. This entry will serve as nothing but proof that I wrote and that today I held on again There was no falling behind and the movement forward was minute, but existent. When struggling with mental health was a battle before, quarantine multiplies it. The battle became more difficult, but there’s no giving up.

We’ll make it. It’s like being grounded on a larger scale. Did a child ever die from being grounded? Probably. But people have died to coconuts too. So let’s take our punishment like big boys and girls, pull out our toybox and wait this out. I’ll be playing video games and doing pullups.

See you guys on the other side.

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One boring little Tuesday

Today’s post is going to be a look into my day to day life in this quarantine. How I’ve been operating, what my thoughts look like as the day progresses, etc. Let’s get started, shall we?

8am – I’m awake but I’m not moving yet… there was a cool dream I totally forget that I’m working on getting back to.

8:30am – Fuck it. I’m up. Time to start slugging water so that I can enjoy coffee in an hour. Where are my pants? Why are pants?

9am – Browsing reddit as I drink copious amounts of water. Telling myself that I’m not going to drink tonight so my body can work on finding its’ baseline again.

9:30am – Shower. I’m covered in stale sweat, grime, and general sin. Let’s put on some normal clothes and pretend I’m ready to go out into the world at any moment being fully aware I’m not going to… at all. Unless going to the liquor store…

9:45am – COFFEEEEE and journaling. Just taking a mental shit on paper so my brain can function a little bit betterer.

10am – COOFFFFEEEE worked. Bathroom and more reddit browsing. Slight guilt about not reading a book, watching stocks surge up as mine go down – goddamnit.

10:10am – Start hourly blog. Considering making more coffee. Remember water is more important. Still considering making more coffee.

10:30am – All caught up. Can finally play video games without feeling completely guilty. ELDER SCROLLS ONLINE LET’S GOOOOOO.

11am – I hopped in discord and bullshitted for a good 30 minutes while falling down a reddit rabbithole. Definitely leaning towards the next cup of coffee coming sooner rather than later…

12pm – My 2nd cup of coffee is almost gone. A 3rd cup is out of the question, but sounds delicious. Instead, I’m contemplating a big salad filled with veggies. With some water. While I continue to level my necromancer in the glorious COVID-19-FREE Grahtwood. 28 and counting…

1245pm – It’s salad time. I can’t say that I’m all that hungry, but some veggies will do me good and the boredom of being home all day is starting to set in. At least this will partially break up the monotony … and keep me from craving junk food later…. hopefully.

1:45pm – I’ve washed my hands an approximate 400 times today. Skin is beginning to become a thought of the past. My salad is digesting while I consider either taking a nap or just resting my eyes for a few minutes…

2:20pm – Added some special “lemonade” to my seltzer. Why not relax a little while I wait for my food to digest… and it’ll help the time pass until I go in the other room for a workout. I can already feel my body giving a sigh of relief.

4pm – Time for more caffeine. Sugar free Red Bull? Sure. I never drink these but once in a blue moon. Since I’m quarantined and sinking into a downward spiral of laziness, there’s no doubt in my mind that I’ll either have a full on panic attack or I’ll force myself into a brutal workout to kickstart a week of focus on health…

5pm – I’m simultaneously disgusted with myself and want to exercise for the next 5 hours straight and wanting to lay down on the couch and take a nap. Knowing how little I’ve moved over the past month, it’s time to push myself into a sweaty realm of endorphins. Then I’ll be able to play some more video games before dinner. It’s like working out the rationale of a 12 year old.

6:45pm – Energy exerted and calories burned. My sweat smelled like a distillery. I’m exhausted and looking forward to dinner. I’m back on the computer while she gets in her workout and then we’ll reconvene over the dinner table. Stuffed peppers tonight I believe. Bingpot. I guess I’ll kill some more time with some Elder Scrolls until she’s ready… almost level 30….

9pm – Dinner was fantastic. Red peppers filled with bison, squash, and a little bit of cheese with an arugula salad. If I had to cook for myself on night to night basis I’d be sick and tired of chicken tenders fresh from the microwave. Still playing around with Elder Scrolls, but looking forward to sitting down and watching a show before getting into bed and reading before bed.

11:30pm – Death of Stalin: great, entertaining dark comedy that helps tell a historic story with some tongue in cheek humor. It was better than I was expecting it to be and came out feeling like I learned something. I’m currently exhausted and ready to get some sleep while starting all over tomorrow.

Tomorrow I’ll review my little timelog of a quarantine Tuesday and save my judgement for then. It’s too late to judge … it’s time for a little Always Sunny in Philly and then sleeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

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Still posted….

10 minutes. That’s all I’ve got tonight. Technically, I’ve already missed my deadline, but I think in a global pandemic I can give myself a little slack.

We watched the movie Parasite. If you want something to keep you in suspense for 2 hours straight, make you laugh, make you cringe, evoke every emotion in you possible – this is the movie. Great film, you even forget you’re reading the subtitles. You think you know what’s happening, then the world flips upside down on you… in Korean.

Enjoy.

I wanted to see what kind of nonsense I’d spill out at the end of the night but it’s nothing. I think through living in a confined space for weeks on end is putting a pinch on my creative space. I think what’s going to have to happen is a shift in voice… moving onto a more imaginative direction. Upon waking, I’m going to ponder the same question I fell to rest with…

“When the dust settles, what happens next?”

Guess I’m going to be up all night…

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TGIF….?

Captains log, day #952

We’ve been at sea for what feels like decades. I’m forgetting what people’s faces look like. The seas have been turbulent and unforgiving. We had to kill Jim. Yup, Jim’s dead. Not really sure how he got on our boat, but we put 2 between his ears and tossed his lifeless corpse overboard. Mertha caught scruvy and we had to remove his left foot. It bled like a sonbitch but it wasn’t anything a hot iron and a little rum couldn’t fix. Speaking of rum, supplies are running low. Men have started to form alliances over the last few bottles remaining. I’ve stashed 6 bottles in my trunk so that I may remain neutral and avoid any possible mutiny. Crazy eyed Bobby was looking a little extra crazy the past week and I do not test his levels of craziness. We’ve been eating seal blubber in between meals to keep ourselves satiated. Fun fact: the blubber also acts as fuel for our lanterns. Most of the food is gone, but there are plenty of fish in the sea, amirite? I’ve grown sick of the constant questions… “Where are we headed?” “When will we get there?” “What’s wrong with the wifi?” I never should have become a cruise line captain.

Mental health phone lines calls are up roughly 700%. No shit? What’s the number…?

It’s day 21 for me. 3 weeks where I’ve been spending 23 hours of my day inside my home. I love this place. We work hard to keep it clean, organized, feng shui’ed… okay, my lovely little lady does. Regardless, as much as I love being home, I think I’ve had my fill for the next 6 months.

They say you don’t realize what you’ve got until it’s gone… I suppose I just never realized how much of a privilege it was to be in a community. All those times that I chose to ignore a friend and stay home, those times I stayed indoors on a beautiful day, and all those times I had to go to the store to get something. UGH, what pains in the asses.

Again, I’m grateful for my health, my beautiful other half, a wonderful home to be quarantined in, and much more. This could be a literal prison. There could be no computer, no internet, no choices, no space. Continue to be grateful for what we have, it could always be worse.

The way I’m seeing it – we have a little over 3 more weeks here in MA. 3 are already over. It’s about halfway over and then we can all celebrate. The day that the pandemic is declared over will be the day that the world celebrates as one. I’m looking forward to that day as it’ll feel like a literal weight off my chest.

You know what else? We watched Detective Pikachu last night. I’m grateful that HBO threw out some free content… but I’ll give it a “Eh.” Eh-nterttaining. So thank you again, HBO and everyone behind the making of that movie.

I think that’s it.

Yup.

Happy friday everyone.

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The Watchmen is a great movie

I always felt like when someone turned the race course backwards and considered it “different” was a cop out. Really? Just turn it around and now it’s all super different?

Welp, I guess I’m starting to see the light.

When life was normal, every day’s goal was to get up and get after it, almost immediately. Wake up at 5:30, get to the gym, come home, be showered and ready to get out the door by 8, drink coffee and be creative for an hour …or browse reddit before I’d leave and get on the road for the day.

The goal was to have all the work stuff done early so all the relax stuff could be savored when I got home. The beauty of walking through the doors at night knowing all the work for the day had been done was glorious… I just couldn’t WAIT to get in and spend some time at home. I was always wishing for more time at home. Now that’s all we have. Isn’t it glooooorious, guys? GUYS?!?!? RIGHT?!!??!!?

There were times in my life where I’d leave all the work until the end of the day. Procrastinate and put unnecessary pressure on myself so that it would force me to get the work done quicker. It proved ineffective and sloppy as time went on and as the workload grew. It reached a point where I had enough and decided to take the opposite approach; deciding to start each day with an “attack” mentality yielded success in almost every aspect of my life. I couldn’t imagine ever going back to procrastinating all day and even felt lazy thinking about it.

In quarantine, getting everything done (without piling more onto my plate) in the morning was leaving me restless come mid-afternoon. With the plague scaring everyone into their 6 foot bubble and shutting down 90% of business, I was running out of things from my normal routine to do in the afternoon… except for panic. Had all the time in the world to panic. Constant fears and thoughts about whether or not I have the virus, if I’ll spread it, what if I have something worse. I heard that if my hand is larger than my face I have cancer!… Oh yeah, the list goes on. Paralyzing bullshit thoughts.

Some people are really good at picking up arts and crafts, instruments, and chores to fill their time. Before my indecisive mind can figure out what avenue to take, those fearful thoughts creep in and keep me from doing anything within my own home. The only thing that works to distract me is having a couple cocktails. Even as much as I like drinking, doing anything daily takes the fun and excitement out of it. Then, under the influence, it’s way easier to eat something I shouldn’t.

Today, I went back to saying, “Fuck it… I’ll do it later,” which is a very hot flame to play with.

But, for today, it worked.

Today was different. Today, I woke up late, stretched, wrote for about 30 minutes, and played video games for almost 6 hours. I drank plenty of water, plenty of coffee, and then at 6:30 I decided it was time to get in my fitness for the day, eat dinner, and write some more.

Playing the video games (Elder Scrolls Online, highly recommended) kept my mind busy and immersed enough that I had no time to think about quarantine and plagues. Playing with friends gave me a social outlet so I didn’t feel so alone and in my own head. Pushing my fitness to the end of the day forced me to stave away alcohol. It also kept me much more health conscious so it was yet ANOTHER reminder to eat healthy into the evening.

Any other time, I’d still consider this “lazy.” And sure, it’s definitely not productive. But in a time where we’re being forced into isolation, being forced to avoid our fellow human beings, and being forced out of our routines, I’m calling it “surviving.” When life can resume as normal-as-it-can again, the goal will be to “thrive.” In order to thrive, playing games for 6 hours a day will to have to take a backseat. Now, I could just be late to the party and everyone already knows this, which is most likely the case, OR I’m finally able to let go of the guilt associated with sitting around all day. Or both…

Surely, there’s still opportunities to be had. In every struggle, someone is finding success somewhere. With millions of people out of work, I can’t even begin to think of where that may be. The answer is probably in the prequel to the movie “Ready Player One.”

But for now, the goal is to survive, stay active, and remind my demons that I’m not stuck in isolation with them… they’re stuck in here with me.

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What about the greatest competitive eater…?

I’m living in the Dave Matthews song “Too Much.”

Seriously.

I eat too much
I drink too much
I want too much
Too much

Yup. Pretty accurate. The food journal is helping me reduce my amount of eating and drinking, but I’d be a liar if I said the cravings weren’t there… and that my discipline still needs work.

I want too much. Right now I have ZERO urge to eat. None. My stomach feels full, there’s no desire in my mouth for a certain salt/fat/sugar… but if you put a delicious pizza, a massive burger, or a bunch of honey mustard pretzels in front of me, I’d start to eat them. They’re delicious! They bring comfort! But the excess inevitably brings shame. It might be when I step on the scale in the morning, when I write it down, or when I take my shirt off to get in the shower… but I’m certain it’ll come.

A large glass of sparkling seltzer with a shot of vodka in it will make the day a little more exciting. In fact, fuck the seltzer, let’s throw some whiskey in a glass with rocks and a lime and enjoy ourselves. We’re stuck indoors due to a global pandemic, who cares? It’ll be fun. Sure, have another, you don’t have anything that NEEDS to get done. You don’t have to drive anywhere.

Toooooo muuuuuuuch”

I’ve heard this sensation, this chase, described as a hole, as if it’s something that needs filling. People fill it with food, drugs, sex, etc…. but it continues to be an endless hole that no matter how much we try to fill it, the hole remains.

This quarantine has us stuck inside with a hole that seems to grow in diameter. Maybe it was only a little hole that we filled with a couple drinks over the weekend and an act or two of debauchery. But now, being stuck inside with lots of us losing the ability to meet friends and family, losing our hobbies outside of our homes, and losing what we identified with – “Work” – we feel that empty feeling growing, like an untreated rash. Scratch it with the “too much” and it grows. We’re feeding it. That hole seems to be more of a mouth that belongs to the little red dude on the other shoulder.

Personally, I’ve enjoyed having a couple cocktails in the afternoon and eating a little differently than if society was running as normal. But “Too much” of it becomes a slippery slope. When we feed that little red dude on our shoulder, he grows in strength, like anything you feed. Though, it’s our job to control his portions and be careful of feeding him… “Too Much

I remember a Full House (the 90’s version – we don’t speak of the blasphemy that airs on Netflix these days) episode where Danny Tanner has to explain that “Too Much” of anything is a bad thing. “Even too much owce cweam?” one of the Olsen twins asked. Honestly, this lesson hit me like I owed it money.

It can be too much exercising, too much eating of vegetables, too much stretching. The concept of “Too Much” is going beyond what can be deemed positive, or even just the pursuit of going beyond. Some people want to be the BEST marathoner. Well, they’re probably going to have to find where “Too Much” running is before they can find a proper training regimen for themselves. The person who wants to be the best violinist is going to play “Too Much“before they realize they’ve gone too far. The person that wants to be the greatest gamer is going to play “Too Much” before they realize that it was indeeed…“Too Much“.

Through doing whatever activity “Too Much,” we can find the line of diminishing returns… right? We want to find our limits and break them so that we can push them further next time, but there’s going to be a point IN ANYTHING that it was “Too Much.” It’s going to that point and then realizing that preparation and recovery from anything that we do in excess would be crucial to the “success.”

So, for instance, if I’m planning to run the furthest I’ve ever run, I should probably prepare by running smaller distances leading up to that long run, I should eat properly before hand, I should make sure that I have the proper footwear… etc. Afterwards I should stretch, rehydrate, rest, etc. I’m not a marathoner so this is certainly not my expertise, but you get the point. If we want to find the line of “Too Much” then we have to hit it and prepare properly for next time.

Perhaps it’s the pursuit of something great that can close the hole of that little red dude’s mouth? If we put our desire for “Too Much” into something artistic, physical, and/or intellectual then we won’t desire a sleeve of cookies, a bottle of whiskey, or 30 women or men. The distractions will always remain, the little red dude will always be on our shoulder, but can we quiet him? Can we keep a greater distance from him? Shit, even Bill Gates locks himself in a cabin for a week reading “Too Much” while crushing a 30-pack of Diet Coke. Maybe it’s just a release valve that we have to open every now and then as it’s part of being human… having flaws, not being perfect, NOT being some sort of deity.

I really have zero clue. These thoughts and questions are rhetorical and simply something to ponder and keep in mind when the craving to keep eating, drinking, or binging comes about.

What I do know is that I’ve been sitting for “Too Much” of my Wednesday. It’s time to do anything of “much,” which will be much better than not doing it at all.

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No more writing before lunch

I did it. I started a food journal. Enough was enough. Being at home all day waiting for the world to come back into order has allowed me too much time and freedom to go into my fridge and eat everything in sight.

“It’s like I need a bouncer at my fridge.” – Craig Robinson on “Laugh Aid”

Chips? Just a couple… empties entire bag into bowl. Peanut butter? Just a spoonful…. grabs a goddamned ladle. Trail mix? Just a handful… onto yogurt, fruit, protein powder, cereal and somehow bacon.

8 SLICES OF BACON! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

It’s an equation, that’s all it is. Food item + what rational bullshit I tell myself = What actually happens.

When you add in the food journal, it adds a step of honesty to it. Now it’s …

Food item + rationale I give myself + write down in journal = Rational outcome.

Damnit. Now I’m holding myself accountable? Ok, but I get to enjoy myself on Sundays. Deal.

I must have been eating close to 5,000 calories a day just in mindless eating. Not eating to meet macros, not eating all veggies, not looking to become the next powerlifting champion. Just mindless, excessive eating.

Normally, when the world was operable and there were these things called “gyms,” I would use the “gym” to exercise early, be productive all day with work and chores, then I would allow myself to eat from dinner (usually about 8 or 830) until 10 or 10:30. Within that timespan, there would be plenty of consumption… probably equal to what’s being consumed in the mindless-eating-phase.

But there was so much exertion throughout the day. There were so many other things to keep your mind OFF of food that you never really thought about it. Then by the time you got home and food was placed in front of you and you KNEW you could eat it, it was such a reward. To know that you earned your meal and it was time to feast gave you a sense of joy. “Oh no! I’m over my calories!” Maybe, but when you’re moving all day, a few extra calories won’t set you back.

The food journal forces me to write down exactly what I’ve eaten. I’m not specific to the point of counting grains of rice or measuring everything out, I’m just honest with myself.

Honesty. That’s all we need. If we continue to lie to ourselves about what we’re eating and how much, it’s easy to let things sneak in. But the moment you KNOW you have to write it down… do I really want that trail mix or am I eating out of boredom? Do I need a 2nd serving of dinner? If I don’t feel okay writing it down then it’s not happening. How about a snack AFTER dinner? Sure, but look how long that list is on your food journal, do you really think you should?

I’m not sure what it is about writing something down that forces us to be so honest with ourselves, perhaps it’s like a mirror for your mind – like when you stare in the mirror you KNOW what you look like. Maybe this is on the same spectrum? But that’s not the conversation for today because I’m hungry. My food journal has nothing but “Coffee+MCT+Stevia” on it.

It’s time for lunch. A salad. A salad with eggs. A salad with eggs, cheese, and buffalo chicken. A salad with eggs, cheese, buffalo chicken and avocado, A Salad with eggs, cheese, buffalo chicken, avacado and

BACON. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

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…then consider me Myles Davis

I’ve watched many, many movies in my life. Way too many. Some multiple times just to really get the feel for the cinematic subtleties that the cast and crew worked diligently on. The camera angles, the quirks of the characters, the editing… one of my favorite cinematic masterpieces is Billy Madison. I even own a shirt with a blue duck on it that says “That’s Quacktastic!”

But has anyone seen the one where the citizens around the world are rioting because the government is taking away their rights and has too much control? No? It has that really cold and evil 1%’er dude that plans to exterminate a portion of the population to scare them into obedience. Still not remembering? Well, his whole plan was to make the citizens scared of each other to willingly give up their rights to the government. If citizens are scared of each other, they won’t riot against “the man” and they’ll follow all the rules that are put into place. He plans to release a disease as a means to eliminate a portion of the population and scare the rest of them into his control.

Sound familiar yet? It’s called “2020”.

CHILL OUT. Take a breath. The circumstances we are living in are real and I fully understand that. I’m keeping my distance, washing my hands until they’re raw, and my lovely lady even sewed me a cloth mask to wear out in public until this whole thing is over. In NO WAY am I trying to downplay the seriousness of what we’re living in. In fact, I’ve never felt so scared and out of control in my life.

BUT… can’t we admit that the timing of all of this is a little coincidental? How long were those daily protests in China taking place? Most of 2019? It looks as if they are on a corona-enforced shutdown but are gearing up for when it all ends. There’s not much news on it anymore. And I know there were other protests all around the world that the media was trying to keep quiet, but there’s no need to list them all. You could easily find them all on a quick google search.

I’m not a conspiracy-theorist guy by any means, I don’t even own a tinfoil hat! But I’ve just watched so many science fiction movies, read so many books, played so many games… they all refer to the times we’re living in as “when it all changed.” People far more intelligent than I continue to say that the world won’t be the same after this is all over. It seems to be jumpstarting the wave of the future.

Maybe that’s what I’m nervous about… the jumpstart. It feels like there should be some sort of smoother segway, an easier transition into the future, but it feels like the world just got booted in the balls and then pushed into the deep end of the pool with all its’ clothes on while carrying weights on it’s ankles. “Swim motherfucker.”

Now, like yourself, I’ve spent too much time indoors over the past couple weeks, enjoyed too many luxuries, and let my mind drift into some deep rabbit holes.

It took a trip to Market Basket where I had to wait in a line 6 feet apart from everyone while a bouncer let me into the club when someone had left. “We’re at capacity.” Had I shown some more skin, perhaps I would have gotten in sooner. Time to get my crop tops out for the summer.

It was while I was walking from the parking lot of said club “Market Basket” to the line to get into the party, that I read an article where the Governor of Massachusetts was greenlighting a tracking program of coronavirus patients after they’ve been diagnosed.

HOLY SHIT.

Let me get this straight: if I catch this virus, which could yield absolutely ZERO symptoms to me (knock on wood), you’re telling me the government is going to track my every movement? Wow. And no one’s upset about this? We’re all on board with this? This is where Dr. Evil and Mr. Burns give each other high fives.

People wearing masks, staying 6 feet apart scared of human connection, all interactions coming through a screen, your government tracking you. If you haven’t seen the movie “Wall-E,” well, you’re living in the prequel. It’s very similar to “Minority Report” ….

Our goal is public safety. Everyone’s goal should be. If you get sick, stay home. Hasn’t that always been the deal? I’m all set with catching ANY illness. If it gets really bad, go to the hospital… and when they release you, go home and rest until you feel healthy AND YOU’RE NOT CONTAGIOUS. Again, this is a serious and life-threatening virus/disease, take it seriously. But once we start to give up our privacy, our rights… we’re not going to get them back. I hope we all understand that. If there’s an instance in government history where they let their people off the leash after FINALLY getting the collar on them… let me know. History was never my strong suit.

What’s happening beyond our control? No clue. There are some powerful Illuminati characters running shit behind the curtain in Oz. What are their plans? No clue. This whole scenario probably has nothing to do with them or their plans. But let’s tread these uncharted waters with a little less fear mongering and a little more brotherhood. Once the State of Emergency comes to an end, let’s cling to our rights as citizens with a firm, ironclad grasp.

Alas, we cannot fight to our right to party at the moment. There’s far too much happening for us to be protesting and rioting. Health is wealth and if we’re not healthy, we cannot fight the powers that be. Even Hong Kong is on a Hiatus and they were like the Tom Brady’s of protests. Right now, the focus is on working as one unit to get back to full strength. Then we can address our governmental issues.

I cannot see the future, all I see is what’s in front of us. There’s a lot of beauty in the world. Thousands, millions of people coming together everywhere to help combat this deadly disease in one way or another. The positive overwhelms the negative everytime.

The world is always changing. This jumpstarted progress will come regardless of whether you want it or not. The world is constantly moving, turning, changing it’s position in the universe. Roll with the punches. While conspiracies are interesting, there’s no need to dwell in thought about it. Focus on what’s in front of you: a global pandemic. Focus on the now. Stay safe and stay healthy. We’ll get through it together by staying apart for now.

And in 99% of those movies, games, and books I referenced – there’s a happy ending for the world.

But that other 1% though...

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