The universe works in mysterious ways. There is no such thing as a coincidence. Whenever something happens, there’s reason of great importance… of great opportunity. Trust your logic, trust your intuition, trust your gut. I once heard that we have 3 brains – the brain (duh), the heart, and your gut. The goal is to make all 3 sync and work together in harmony. When one doesn’t agree on something, that usually means it’s a “no.” There is a saying that floats around in highly successful circles (not mine, I’m just a good eavesdropper) – “If it’s not a hell yes, then it’s a no.”
This is precisely how I’ve interpreted this saying. If all 3 of your brains agree on something, then it is a “hell yes.” If you’re mixed up about something, or paralyzed in a state of continually trying to weigh your options, then it’s a no. This doesn’t mean that sometimes you need a beat to think about something, because not everything worth doing is easy. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.
If you want a magnificent and breathtaking view of the world, you’ve got to hike your ass up high so you can see it. That shit isn’t going to be easy. But you can google it, but let’s be real…it’s never as good as the real thing. You’re sitting in a computer chair surrounded by the usual life you lead. Now, compare it to porn – sure, you can look it up and play with your fiddlestick… but that was eeeeeeeasy (usually). Not only that, but you’re going to have a distorted view on what intimacy and sex really without earning that dopamine kick. So really, go out, go on a date, form a relationship with someone, and then take out yo’ meat and beat it… just ask permission first with an “Are you sure?” attached to it a la Louis CK.
Maintaining a friendship isn’t easy. Maintaining and nurturing a relationship is even harder. Hell, even keeping a plant alive can be a bitch. But in the end, it’s worth it. The result will be the fruit of your labors (quite literally with plants). Personal growth isn’t easy, but it’s worth it. Recently I had dinner with my parents and I saw a lot of my tendencies in them. I realized where my both gifts and my loveable-insanity initially came from. Yet, I know that it’s my duty as an offspring to work on myself and improve myself DAILY. I’m working on this as best I can. Each day is a constant series of mental and emotional battles. Most of the time they’re instantly won, but their spies break through and can be insidious. We’re born on this planet to get better and evolve, not to revert back to knuckle dragging and scrolling the ineterporns. It starts with unworking the tangled knots of our trauma. We’re bags of Christmas lights that you’ve got to battle at the beginning of December. You can always say, “Fuck it,” and leave the boxes in the attic while sipping your favorite festive cocktail… or you can buy more from Walmart. Oooooookaaaaaaaaay, I’ll untangle them. It’s going to be painful, but it’ll be much easier to deal with when you’re done.
This weekend I completed my 37th lap around the sun. The universe opened up a new opportunity for me so I listened, said “Yes,” and off to the mountains we went. We went camping and then hiking… and I’m curious as to why it took us so long to do it. Probably a fear-based decision that hindered living a fun and exciting life. Easily, it was one of the most rewarding and eye-opening experiences I have ever had. We arrived to our campsite and were forewarned that the winds at the top of the mountain were reaching 100mph. Oh yeah…Hurricane Fiona was just here. Her tail dragged behind her. You could hear gusts of winds rolling in like a tidal wave, rolling in on the beach of the forest. Eventually the wave crashed and would knock over our chairs, drinks, and fire. She was not playing games.
The mistakes that we made in preparation piled up on us quickly. We underpacked the amount of warm clothing we needed. We didn’t have enough daylight to set up our campsite correctly which resulted in a shredded up tent. Then realized in the morning we have been setting it up incorrectly for years. We had to struggle to get a fire going and then with the wind on top of us, we realized that we didn’t have enough wood so we needed to get more. The knife in my bag had fallen out somewhere so we had to use a hatchet to cut. We drank all the tequila the first night so we had to go out and get more.
But we managed. We lived. Was it stressful for some? Sure was. This was an opportunity for us to understand who we truly are under stress. Under stress, when the greatest quantity of life happens, you can see real personalities and real reactions. You can see the traits of your generations come to the surface, the characteristics that are magnified when mother nature is trying to squish you like a picnic-invading ant. One person is stoically-freaking out to the point of being sick and one is laughing hysterically out of disbelief. These are not good or negative characteristics…they just “are.” Neither is right or wrong, they just seem to be a reaction to a difficult situation.
We are the one’s that give these reactions the title “good” or “bad” based on our perception. Some would say to be stressed would cause them to perform better. Some people only function well when the world is on fire and they calmly work to put it out. Some might do cocaine cartwheels. Which one is “right?”
Mother Nature pulls ZERO punches. There is very few things that is more realistic than the wrath of nature. There’s no beating her, there’s no rules as to what she takes. We can try to avoid it all we’d like by staying indoors, watching TV, going to our bunkers, putting on a generator during the shitty weather, diving deep within the blankets… but ironically enough, the biggest lessons are learned by embracing the chaos and learning who we are within those moments.
If you’re overly stressed, maybe it’s time to force yourself to work under pressure more often? If you’re laughing hysterically, maybe it’s time to wipe the smirk off your face and work to get on the same page as your partner? If you’re in a state of silence, maybe it’s a chance to work on your communication skills with others? The job needs to get done regardless, so formulate a plan then execute together. Be a team. Everything is opportunity. A moment that feeds you some danger is an opportunity to succeed, grow and surpass your bullshit together… or you can succumb to your inability to take the challenge on subsequently keeping you where you are. It’s not necessary, but why wouldn’t you do it for your team? Why not grab your bullshit by the nutsack and tell it who’s in charge? It’s going to be far easier if you’re doing it on behalf of your TEAM. It’s never easy. Nothing worth doing, is. But through the pain is guaranteed growth. And to me, growth equates to happiness.
One thing I learned over the past few days (week, maybe 2), is that communication is KEY. We all have different styles of communication and it is so, SO easy to miscommunicate when you don’t communicate clearly. What’s even worse is when you don’t communicate something at all. People can get lost in their feelings – highs and lows. They can misconstrue a situation or they can exaggerate an issue that never even existed in the first place. Or they can be in the most painful position of all -ignorant. If I’m standing on your foot, totally clueless and in complete darkness, why would I know? And really… all you had to do was wiggle a toe. Trust me, I’ll get off your foot and profusely apologize for doing so in the first place… and then I’ll ask you to stomp mine so I don’t feel like such a pain in the foot. Sorry friend, had no idea.. stomp away. And if you don’t, I’m going to feel the need to stomp myself to feel better. It’s a totally normal thought pattern, I assure you.
Communicate everything as much as possible. Practice the skill. Be interestED, not interestING. Ask more questions, sometimes people need them for guidance. Listen more, because each word they speak could be a total gold nugget that shifts your perspective. To be heard is to be loved. Continue to sharpen your skills of communication just like your knives. When Mother Nature calls, you’re going to need them both. And also… baby wipes for your butt.