It happened. I spent my Saturday afternoon in a full-on downward spiral of “what if’s.”
What if I have it?
What if we don’t recover from this?
What if I give it to someone else?
What if the Kool-Aid man busts down my wall?
These questions do nothing but waste our time. Well, asking them to yourself in a repetitive fashion and thinking the worst in each possible outcome is definitely a waste of time. Being prepared is one thing, but putting yourself in a state of panic helps no one, especially yourself. I started to have difficulty breathing, I gave myself a headache from the tension of thought, I was scared of everything.
Panic and fear. They might as well have been weighted blankets. 2 ton weighted blankets of thought… useless, negative, fearful thought.
I sat on the couch for hours on end staring at a TV binging the first season of Barry (GREAT SHOW) being held down by the throat at this cycle of fear.
And then, like a reassuring whisper, the sun came out.
Nature gave me a little reminder that it’s all going to be okay. After the season ended (properly binged) I got up off my ass and went into the other room, meditated, took a cold shower, and then read a book. Guess what happened?
The birds started chirping. The world didn’t end, I didn’t get a fever, no one I knew contracted COVID-19. I was able to enjoy the rest of my night… as if it was a regular Saturday night.
Sometimes we can get wrapped up in these “what if” questions and lead ourselves down a deep rabbit hole of utter bullshit. These cycles of thought hold us victim, they add nothing positive to our lives. It’s more fun to play “what if I won the lottery.” Way more enjoyable of a game.
Fear, people. It can get the best of us, especially in such uncertain times like these. We have no idea when this will end and what’s going to be waiting for us on the other side. It’s scary, I know. But when we acknowledge our fears, acknowledge that we will have an outcome soon enough, and acknowledge we’re all in it together – we can enjoy all the moments that are right in front of us. For a lot of us, this is out of our control. Our job is to stay home as much as possible. So enjoy these weird yet precious times with those around you and enjoy the moments. IF you need something to bring you back to the moment you’re in – try a cold shower. It’s like a slap in the face. Or just get slapped in the face. Or both. At the same time. Now it’s a party.
The clouds will clear. The sun will come out. The birds will chirp. Sports will start again. We’ll have to go back to work. The gyms will open. Restaurants will be able to seat people. We’ll be able to see friends again. We’ll have to set your alarm clock again.
Be patient. Breathe. Take a cold shower. Move. Smile. Spread cheer and love. Play games and watch movies. Be creative. WASH YOUR HANDS.
“If you are depressed, you are living in the Past. If you are anxious, living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the moment. – Lao Tzu “