It’s all about that first conversation.
The deep sleep right into the morning routine. No time for thought. The sleep is filled with dreams directed by one’s self with characters and abstract ideas aplenty. The routine is filled with introversion, habits, and routine to set up the day for success. Making the bed, brushing your teeth, meditation, stretching, cold shower, journaling – It’s lonely.
The social battery of the human, albeit charged and ready for use after a peaceful night’s sleep, collects dust and remains shelved. Going too long without talking with someone else starts to hurt the potency of the battery’s charge. Before you know it, the battery likes the dust. The battery enjoys its neglect of it’s handler and the peace that’s brought upon its’ lack of use. It doesn’t want to be disturbed, it wants to enjoy the silence of the world around it. Consider it like laying out on the beach miles away from anyone – it’s serene.
The body continues to move, but the battery continues to live in it’s own type of peace. In the car there’s a podcast, music, or silence… but no passengers. At the gym, there’s headphones, a physical routine, and tasks to attend to… but no conversational partner. This might be the strangest place to isolate as you’re surrounded by masses of people with ears covered to eliminate any outside noise. We then look at our handheld devices between exercises whether to respond to a correspondence via text, change a song, check social media (masturbate), or keep track of time.
We then leave to shop and use the self-checkout because it’s not only quicker, but we’re losing our want to converse with any strangers. We head home to get more work done in front of our computers without a soul around us. After work concludes, we can then stare at another screen for entertainment or take part in some artistic endeavor that may or may not require other people. The entire day has passed and no face to face conversations were had. Not one. Not only did we never have a conversation, but we avoided them too.
Part of you likes this. It’s a sick part of you, but a part nonetheless. The other part of you is having a wild and fiery anxiety attack that feels like going to the local watering hole to have a conversation… and that part will need a few strong drinks to quell their social anxiety. And we all know… this is not the most helpful solution. It can be fun, but is painful in the long run. Ask your liver.
We are social beings, you and I. Interaction with one another not only helps us internally, but without other people, we cannot build and we struggle to grow.
Sometimes it’s difficult to talk to others. Anxiety is a motherfucker, we all know it. As we get set into a groove throughout our day without conversing with someone else, we like our peace and quiet. Our internal dialogue becomes far more important than whatever anyone else was going to say. But yet, the internal dialogue can become toxic, like stale water without transitions to rivers and streams can become a swamp… that swamp will breed disease, just like a stale mind. The anxiety is like the mucky swamp… it doesn’t want growth and it wants to sink you. Sometimes when we’re anxious or scared, it’s a solid sign that overcoming it will yield the greatest rewards… even just a simple conversation.
That mind needs interaction with other minds, not just the intake from others’ creations and teachings. There needs to be a set of ears to take in the thoughts that pass through your mind in order to understand their validity. Similar to a match of tennis, someone needs to slam the ball back for you, otherwise your skills diminish hitting against a wall daily.
Jim Carrey once said, “Solitude is dangerous. It’s very addictive. It becomes a habit after you realise how peaceful and calm it is. It’s like you don’t want to deal with people anymore because they drain your energy.”
Boy, was he right. This is true about a genuinely introverted mind. Speaking with someone that has a chaotic life without routine and no care for growth can rip whatever energy you have right from your soul. On the flip side of the coin, there are also so many people that you could spend days with that don’t require charge from your battery and make you a better human in the process. Depending on how far in your day you’ve gone without a conversation, you may meet them and write them off forever. Your perspective was off, your judgement was clouded, and now there’s no longer an opening door down that hallway. You’ve closed off an opportunity to possibly meet someone great which could have opened exponential possibilities. Or they could have stolen your valuables and sold them for meth. The point being that you’ll never know. At least a thieving meth-head leaves you with an interesting story.
Similar to art, exercising, cooking, etc…. your first conversation will be clunky, dopey, and a rough draft leaving you with probably a “What did I just say?” Like when a waiter tells you to enjoy your food and your response is “You too.” We’ve all done it, but they’ll giggle and you’ll turn rosy red in the cheeks. Everyone wins. But in the first conversation, the win is just doing it. Open your door to them, let more people in. Without ever opening your mind to others, you’re essentially stealing from other humans what is your beauty.
We all have some shit days, but brighten the fuck up, bucko… you’re a great person and sharing your mind with others will only brighten their day too. Get the first conversation out of the way, try to be the first one to speak, go out of your way to have it… and just like every other “morning habit,” this one will continue to set you up for success.