I’m sitting in this chair wearing a chip clip on my face like a goddamned earing because I had my ear drained of all the fluid that kept building up.

The problems grapplers have to grapple with.

I wanted to vomit.

I almost passed out.

And now I’m wearing a chip clip.

Worst part is, it doesn’t even feel like it’s working. It’s too big a chip clip so it’s just hanging there like a fashion statement.

Some people say to keep pressure, other’s say you’ll be fine. Sounds like there isn’t much of a perfect method to it all. What gets me is when someone tell you “what works” when their ears are a disaster. It looks like half chewed bubble gum on both sides of your face. What part of this works?

The chip clip hurts more now, am I doing it right? I put a napkin in between the plastic and skin to keep from the pain being a friction pain and more like the grab Mom put’s on your ear for saying something out your mouth that should have stayed in your head. You know, the twisting motion that torques your whole body like a neck crank.

Again, I want to vomit. I guess I’ll eat some dinner instead. Hot dog quesadillas.

I’m going to try and write more in the night to build my evening muscles. I’m sure the work is going to suffer, but it’s important that the work gets done Monday through Friday. God, I’d love to eat some food to distract me of this serious discomfort. It keeps coming off my ear to make sure that the fluid isn’t building back up.

It’s not.

There’s something about it being 9:45pm that forces me to sit here and write. If I have to do it daily, I don’t have time to walk away. It’s a double edged sword because the work gets done, but it almost feels like I’m getting it done just to have it done.

Or it could be the FUCKING CHIP CLIP ON MY FUCKING EAR that’s forcing me to step away from this writing machine.

Listen, we’ll get past this. You and me. Have faith in me. I’ll get better. I promise to be more patient tomorrow but right now all I can hear is everything from my left side and a dull pain in-between heart beats and then the sharp one on the throb.

Ha. He said “throb.”

Goodnight, I love you all.