Decisions Decisions…

You know, I had a beautiful, perspective changing experience over the weekend that definitely needs elaborating on but I think that will have to wait for a moment that I’m a little more clearheaded, energetic, eloquent, and clearheaded… did I mention clearheaded?

But this is the weird one that’s eating at my mental bandwidth so I’ll just say it – through my place of employment, I was peer pressured to sign up for a 28 day course from a life coach.

Yup, that’s right, I’m now taking a course from a life coach. I’ve become part of the cliché. $49 later and now I have something ELSE to do in the morning, like listen to this guy’s advice that he gives himself and check off my accountability spreadsheet. Now, don’t get me wrong, he seems like a nice dude and all but this isn’t a real profession.

You’re finding new habits that better your life, taking in information/perspectives from different podcasts, and then you’re charging a certain amount of money to share it and then tell us how you want to inspire others?

That’s not all that inspiring. In fact, it’s oxymoronic in it’s morals. Bring people up by doing amazing shit constantly, not by charging them $49 for 28 days of tasks.

I’m kind of grossed out just thinking about it. Mentorship has been around forever and I grasp the concept, but to go full send in the direction of “life coach?” Usually that “mentorship” is some help from someone in the industry they’re seeking advice on… not just general “life.” Sure, there are some people out there that really need someone to help them gain some discipline to take accountability for their lives. Making your profession wrangling up the aimless cats seems kind of lame and predatory. Can he answer me to wipe from front-to-back or back-to-front? I’d love some google doc to fill out on what’s most effective.

Isn’t part of the responsibility of living this life to seek out information for ourselves? Why do I need an email from some guy telling me to audit my life, my personality, or my habits? I’m doing it daily already. Some of his trackers are literally “drinking a bunch of water” and “eating the right amount of protein” and “exercising” and “breathwork” and “meditation” and “connecting with loved ones.” I feel like I’ve been posting this shit for years for free while he profits off it… meanwhile I thought it was obvious and I was late to the party. And here I am, just asking for a coffee or two. I’m a fool… a decaffeinated fool … WINK

28 day course that’s asking me to do what I already do…. Okay, but now I am getting 5 more emails a day, a video that comes off slightly needy, and extra work? I’m questioning the work/reward ratio considering it’s extra to my already over the top routine. Shit, my routine (morning and evening) take up a good 3-6 of my waking hours. It’s probably slightly excessive, but in comparison to who? I model my routines off of other high performers I’ve learned from over the years. Martial artists I’ve met, teachers, parents, podcasts, books… we find a collection of habits/information from successful people as we age that work for US, not everyone. Should we all be life coaches? How do you become so unaware of your life that you don’t track yourself or at least try to succeed? I probably audit myself little too much…which can send me in a circle of anxiety, but I’m working on that day to day. Perhaps I’ll take a 28 day course to “succeed in mental health.”

Here’s my positive spin on the situation, because everything that happens has a positive view on it: if this dude can drop at least ONE nugget for me in 28 days, then it’ll be worth it. As someone that works daily to improve themselves in at least one facet or another, there’s very few “hacks” I haven’t heard yet. That’s what always blows my mind – someone selling a X-day course to “transform your life” meanwhile it’s all a hodgepodge of everyone’s habits that worked for him.

Give me a breaaaaaaaaaak.

I’m just having such a hard time swallowing the pill. C’mon man, if your job is to inspire, do something inspirational! We have so much access to information, to stories, to people… go conquer some wild shit on the daily and tell me about your mindset when you slapped the shit out of a gorilla, what you did to get on track when you couldn’t stop doing heroin but then made $10 million the next week while getting clean, or how you lost 200lb’s of fat in 3 weeks to become the next Mr. Olympia. Please, your spreadsheet of “drinking 8 cups of water” is like when the teacher gives us busy work. We all know you have nothing of substance, you’re hungover, and you just want your paycheck so you can go home. It’s okay, but at least Tony Robbins was giving Thanksgiving dinner to people. I don’t think I get any turkey and mashed potatoes at the end of the 28 days. Maybe just a high five and the accolade that I TrAnSfoRmED mY LiFE.

I hope that we can all lead lives that don’t require a life coach. I hope that we can all learn to be intuitive and introspective enough to audit our lives. In a world that is hooked on the big pharma take-a-pill mindset, simple things like “8 hours of sleep” (oh yeah, that was another one) and “eating real food” (yup, another) can make all the difference. It SHOULD be obvious, but because we’ve gotten wrapped up in a messy way to live with all too much human-fuckery, we’re giving this guy a job and a reason to take my $49. I was told I’ll get reimbursed if I finish the course, but this is like the “for a million dollars, would you jump in front of an oncoming car?” question – except it’s “for $49 dollars would you take the advice of a life coach for 28 days?


About krisoakey

Simply a man playfully chasing enlightenment while encouraging others to join him through mockery, logical anomalies, and hand holding...LOTS of hand holding
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