Take Care of the Backyard

I’ve typed out probably 5 different sentences to start this post and yet, each one is shit. Just absolute shit. It’s like a morning movement after a night of tacos that had been marinated in ghost pepper extract sauce for weeks on end. The critic is ruling right now.

I understand that the critic is at work and sometimes he can make a few calls when he shouldn’t, but when he’s active and you want to shut him off, what’s the trick? “No, Kris, your topic about you having hair was really interesting. Please, elaborate on how you wish you could look like Fabio…dumbass.”

He’s always so ruthless too.

There’s just no specific topic that I wanted to hit on, so I scratched my head and started thinking about what it would be like to have long hair. There’d be extra costs involved if I have to buy shampoo, conditioner, gel…what else would I even need? See, now I’d have to do extensive research, which means I’d be losing even MORE time. Then I’d be in constant fear that someone could pull it whether by accident during a grapple or just on the street.

Having hair is dumb. If I continually shave my head, I guess there’s none of those extra thoughts except every now and again when I’m fantasizing about it. Not one time in my long life was there a kickass head of hair on top of me. It wasn’t until I started getting razor fades did I fall in love with having a head that’s hairless. Cats should have fur, the hairless cats really freak me out. But bald people? Bald people, you have my support. Not skinheads though, they can fuck off. I was once called a skinhead. Whilst picking up a pizza, walking down the street, someone hung their head out and shouted, “SKINHEAD!”

They weren’t wrong.

But wouldn’t they be the really judgmental and toxic person for assuming that I’m a toxic and racist person… because I shave my head? Damn man, I was just going to get some pizza. Is that the kind of world we live in now? The kind of world where you can look however you want, dress up however, identify with whatever…but you can’t shave your head? No, I refuse to believe it. I will just believe that this was an outlier, a really aggressive politically correct person to the point that they think by labeling people immediately and starting fights with random strangers about their appearance is doing a greater good. Black lives do matter, I agree…but all of them do. There’s no need to shout this to the planet, you could easily just do your individual duty of being an amazing human being to all your fellow human beings. Be kind. Be loving. Be supportive.

Let’s suppose I WAS a skinhead with shitty intentions. THIS IS HYPOTHETICAL. I have to be clear with that. But let’s assume that this dorky Irish dope that’s done martial arts his entire adult live is a hardcore skinhead. What is calling me a skinhead going to do? Am I going to rethink my behavior up to that moment? Am I going to say, “Yeah, man…you’re right. I’ve been a dude with skin on his head for far too long. I’m going to be a better person. No more skinhead behavior for me…I’m going to grow out this shitty hair and maybe a porn-stache while I’m at it. And I’ll stop going to those KKK meetings too. They haven’t had pie in forever.”

Or is it more likely that it’s going to be like adding fuel to the fire? If that person runs off hate, wouldn’t you want to keep loving them until they finally want to spread the love? If they run off hate…and you feed them hate…doesn’t that just continue the cycle? Isn’t that just continually gaslighting someone? If you dislike the KKK or people of that belief and you want them to stop…tell them you love them. Clearly they got fucked up along the way and a hug could do a lot of good for them.

Be genuine, keep the smartassness to yourself, and try to put a smile on their face. Have a conversation. Give a shit. If you truly want to put an end to injustice…start by spreading the love. Little by little, it’ll find it’s ways to the corner of the world. Start in your backyard and affect the people around you. Your love for Ukraine is great, but I’m sure you’ve walked by a person that could have used a simple “Hello” that day and yet you said nothing. Take care of your backyard and the people who(m? I never understood this rule. I literally missed that day in English – grade 6 and when I came to class the next day they were using it in examples. This fucked me up for life apparently) reside there.

About krisoakey

Simply a man playfully chasing enlightenment while encouraging others to join him through mockery, logical anomalies, and hand holding...LOTS of hand holding
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