Ode to Bacon

I’m unsure where my sincere love for bacon comes from.

Perhaps it’s a childhood memory that sunk in so deep that the mere smell gives me enjoyment. Or maybe it’s the salt/fat/texture combination that makes my tastebuds go bonkers. It could even be the fact that it’s hands-down the best finger food. Or at least ONE OF the best.

Let’s think together…is there any other finger food that trumps a piece of bacon? Sure, it depends on your level of hungriness, but assuming that you’re able to eat enough bacon to fulfill the same amount of food that you could get with something else…what beats it?

Nachos? Eh, maybe they’re a top 3, but they’re so messy you end up using a fork anyways.

Finger sandwiches? Always more bread than meat… it feels like I jumped into a vat of white flour with fixings sprinkled in.

Cheese and crackers? Nonsense. It’s delicious, but you’d have to add to it in order to make it true sustinence. Personally, I’d eat too much cheese and not shit for a week. Which I still do, but that’s a rough week.

Chicken fingers? Sure, fun to dip and eat, but it always relies on it’s dressing/rub to really MAKE the dish.

I’m struggling to find anything that could be better than a piece of slow cooked, super thick, smoked piece of bacon. Or even 5 of them. Once they cool off just enough to bite into them with a full crunch, they’re the most satisfying finger food you could have.

Now, consider ADDING the bacon to any of the other finger foods we mentioned. Nachos? Yes, bacon added is a huge win. It always costs extra at a restaurant, but goddamn is it worth the extra $2. Finger sandwiches? If they DON’T have bacon, I’m going to be very upset. I’ll still eat it, but maaaaaaaaan, I’m going to do it with a scowl on my face. Cheese and crackers? This is the perfect opportunity to add the bacon to make it something you can call a meal. It’s a mini sandwich! Now just eat 20 of them. Chicken fingers with bacon? This is interesting. You could have a maple honey glaze that has chopped bacon mixed into it. Delicious. Absolutely delicious. My mouth is watering.

When a bloody mary arrives at the table and there’s no bacon, it’s almost worth sending back. That’s NOT a bloody mary. That’s tomato juice and liquor. The bartender should be ashamed of themselves. Tail between the legs, make it again.

A Sunday breakfast without bacon is blasphemy. It might as well be Monday. Is that what you want? Do you want to turn a beautiful Sunday morning into a Monday? You’re going to time-travel to the workweek? How dare you. I’m terminating our friendship.

Scallops are great alone, but do us all a favor and wrap the motherfuckers in bacon. They’re better, it adds more flavor. You don’t HAVE to…but it’d be cooler if you did.

Bacon on a pizza is a clutch move. Add some BBQ chicken and PINEAPPLE (come at me) to it and you’re in heaven.

Bacon with fruit blends sweet and salty so perfectly.

Bacon with bacon is just the ideal snack. If you add a little bacon too? Yeah, you’re in the win column. If you have bacon salt, you should add that too…just to be sure that you reaaaaaaaally get that bacon to pop.

It’s a win. I’m not talking about your health by any means, just the satisfaction you get when you’ve really ripped into some bacon. A restaurant near me does a bacon flight. 5 different flavors sprinkled over 5 pieces of thick cut bacon. It’s my favorite FINGER FOOD on the menu.

Bacon will always be number one in my heart for finger foods. The more I think about it, the more sense it makes. I suggest you all give bacon the respect it deserves. Bow down to your bacon while it slow cooks at 220 for 3 hours. Drain it’s juices. Let it dry. And then feast on the best finger food you’ve ever had.

Wait…could we consider “pizza” finger foods? Oh shit…

Dinner time!

About krisoakey

Simply a man playfully chasing enlightenment while encouraging others to join him through mockery, logical anomalies, and hand holding...LOTS of hand holding
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