The Little Spider that Could…

Every morning I hang my head out the window make sure that my eyes are getting low horizon sunlight. Supposedly, according to “science,” this is supposed to help with circadian rhythm and just overall stress levels/happiness. As someone who’s been doing it for a couple months now, I’d say it definitely has improved my mood, but it’s no end-all-be-all solution. The battle for the space in my head is one that will last for a looooong looooooooooooooong time. BUT, that’s kind of besides the point.

I always open the middle window in our living room. The next to me has my solar sign on it (I ❤ Solar Energy with my phone number) so the window can’t be opened. The window at the other end has Erika’s plants underneath it for the sunlight, so I don’t touch this window either. But the middle window? It has nothing in the way. It’s a clear shot for my glistening bald head to hang out the window for some sunlight, fresh air, and Plymouth people watching.

But every time I open this window, there’s a rather large spiderweb across it. It probably spans about a foot in diameter and it may have been the spider from Charlotte’s Web spinning said web. It’s detailed, it shines in the sunlight, but the spider is never there. So knowing I’m not going to end it’s life and that my head is in dire need to get some sunshine in order to start my day, I push my hand through and make way for baldy to blind the world from above.

This is a daily occurrence.

That means this spider, even after his work has been destroyed, he gets his ass back to work and builds the web again. I have no idea how long it takes to build a spiderweb, but man, it’s got to take hoooours. I would have imagined much longer, actually. But the fact that it’s there every day means that he’s out there grinding. That spider is putting in the work, he’s putting in the midnight oil. And let me be specific, the spider is on the outside of the house. It’s not on the inside. Otherwise I would have released him into the wild a long time ago. I just can’t have spiders kicking around in here. I get it, they get rid of the other insects, but considering how many fruit flies I had to swat away this season, they weren’t holding their salt.

What really makes my head spin is that the spider keeps doing this and I never see any prey caught. There’s no bounty in his web, nothing ever trying to squirm it’s way out, so no lunch for him. This spider not only keeps grinding his ass off every day for almost no reward. Out of 60+ times I’ve done this, I think he’s caught 1 tiny fly? This guy never gives up. He keeps getting up to a whole bunch of nothing and picks the same fucking spot on the same fucking window to then weave his web.

Why not move? Why not try something else? There has to be other spots in other windows that you can take over. Hell, there’s another 20-something windows spanning the building, choose a new one! In the time it takes for the spider to create his web, he could have found a more bountiful spot. Is this is insanity? Doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result? Or is it just purely “spider’s gonna spider?” And how would he know if the next spot is going to be better? Maybe it would be much worse?

Regardless, I feel almost inspired buy this little guy. Someone that can get up, go to work for hours on end, and yield little to no rewards at the end of the day is oddly admirable. Something about this spider doing this on repeat daily hoping that he’s going to find a meal lightens my spirit. If he makes a big enough web or a strong enough web, he’s going to have MULTIPLE meals. So maybe the thought process is that he’s going to keep working, keep setting up shop in hopes that he’ll make one big catch and not have to sweat his next meals? Maybe he’s even just happy to catch something at all, even a miniscule fruit fly that I never see when break down his web. The little guy probably is just happy for some scraps. I bet he’s even grateful too.

One thing I know for sure, is that he’s coming back tomorrow. I removed his web this morning and I know there will be another one waiting for me in the morning. And we’re going to play the same game. What resilience he has. Even though his dismay is self-inflicting, he’s working towards getting that big ass meal that’s going to drop in. If he keeps following his instincts and the process, it’ll pay off… right? The web won’t get destroyed if there’s a fly in it, I’d never ruin his meal, I promise you that. If it’s an empty slate, it looks like he needs to grind out another web in hopes of catching a meal, regardless of size.

The day is going to come, that I hang my head out that window and he’s not going to be there. It’s going to be a sad day and I anticipate that I’ll struggle with it for a second. But I will always hold high the lesson of the spider outside my apartment. Daily, he grinds staying hungry for his next meal. So should we. He shows up to work the next day regardless of his catch knowing damn well that today could be the day. Or it could even be his last. Tomorrow is never promised. If he’s alive, we know for certain he’s going to show up to work because if he DOESN’T make a web, it’s 100% chance he catches nothing. If the web is out and he did the work, there’s still a fighting chance he eats like a king. But there’s also 100% chance I’m going to swat it out of my way so I can indulge my selfish need to get some sunshine and increase MY well-being. Good luck, Spider… you’re on your own.

About krisoakey

Simply a man playfully chasing enlightenment while encouraging others to join him through mockery, logical anomalies, and hand holding...LOTS of hand holding
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