Buffalo Chicken Pizza.

It’s right there. So close I can smell it. Obviously I can smell it, BuffChx Pizza wanders into everyone’s nostrils whenever it’s near. Invitation or not, the seductively spicy aroma is coming for you.

But you’re not able to eat it unless you take care of business first.

That means that you had to have gotten your exercise in first. CHECK.

Did you get in your writing for the night? CHE..

..Working on it.

The aroma is dancing through my living room like an old Disney cartoon’s cooling pie on the windowsill. Just now it’s a pizzaaaa pie. It has a hold on me. I can’t break it’s grips. I’m levitating towards it. Is it choking me out? Kind of, but I like it. Is that weird? Maybe a little, but goddamn I’ve been craving this pizza all weekend.

Sometimes you can try and make “pizza” with some tortillas and cheese, but it’s just not the same. You need that crunch thick crust, the gooey cheese, the sauce dripping from every bite. On the first bite the tang from the buffalo sauce will only accentuate the flavor of the mozzarella cheese and the grilled chicken laying upon it like a Victoria’s Secret model trying to seduce you, waving you over to a bed of silk buffalo-flavored sheets. I am the master of my domain, sexy chicken, I will devour you when I’ve earned it and when you’re ready for it.

But you can’t just jump right into the pizza, you have to have some healthy protein first. The pizza is the treat. So that means you have to be patient and eat the steak first, but that means waiting for the steak to be ready. Although I smell nothing but pizza, the steak will take priority. Eating the pizza first would be like jumping straight past dinner and into dessert. What kind of sick maniac would do such a thing?

Someone that cannot flex their discipline muscle. You know what else you need to do before you engage the pizza? You need to drink tons of water. A good way to overeat is to eat a meal before having any water. Those signals can get confusing. Therefor, it’s your job to drink a shit ton of water before eating, that way when you’re actually full, you know it. Otherwise you’ll have a slice too much and when you’re this close to bedtime, that’s a heavy mistake to make.

DING – it sounds like dinner is ready. I’ve now earned the meal. We worked out, we did our writing, we waited patiently. I can only drool all over myself so much before I know it’s time.

I hope you earned your meal tonight and earned a little extra for afterwards.

Happy Monday everyone!