Ok “Sally,” Give me a Scoop of the Strawberry

You do you. Just a reminder, that you doing you the way you want to do you, will make it so that others that are doing themselves, may not want to do you. That’s okay though, you doing you authentically and honestly makes you doing you kind of appealing so that others may want to “do you” but they’d be just doing themselves. Or they may like you doing you, but you doing you isn’t how they really like you to do you.


No no no. You misread me. And by you, I mean me, reading me doing me, which all I’m really trying is a self-centric “you do you” mentality in a you do you way. When we do we, you and me, we attract others to “you do you” because of our bravery or some bullshit. So we should all be doing ourselves and helping other people do themselves.

MUTUAL masturbation?

NO BRO. Are you soft or dense? And how do these two words, in an insulting manner, mean the same thing? “Soft as puppy shit” gets me every time. But dense as a… what? I don’t feel like we have a really good one for that insult. First one to get me a good “dense as a ________” wins. You win a high five. These high fives don’t just get given out to everyone, either. So work diligently. I’m sure I could have googled one, but where’s the fun in that?

What I’m really digging at is that our authenticity, sharing it and expressing it, is what people love. We’ve all been around the salesman putting up a front, or the person that has a conversation with you and dances around their words, or reading the lame writer that shits out drivel instead of writing about what really kicks through their brain just so people will read what they write…….. I’M STARVED FOR ATTENTION!

No one likes a liar. When you’re not being real, that’s what you’re doing. You’re full of shit. No one wants it, no one cares, it’s not fucking interesting. Send it back to the toilet you picked it up from and open up your heart and mind to people. A collective audience out there, somewhere, will enjoy it. Remember, we have the entire world at our fingertips. If your immediate circle has no interest, draw a bigger circle. One person will share one of your pieces, then another, and another, etc. etc. Now you have a bigger circle. Congratulations, you can draw.

Maybe your shit is niche. Sweet! Who wants the McDonalds of art? That’s 90% of Netflix shows. The woke-apocalypse (I tried to shorten this in some creative manner but it nearly gave me a stroke. woke-opolypse is what I kept coming to. My head hurts) has ruined a lot of good art, movies, shows, and the minds that ingest them. Motherfuckers keep trying to be politically correct as to not offend someone. They’re taking all the good flavors and making them vanilla. “Mint chocolate chip is offensive to my heritage as a dumbass pronoun of some culture that doesn’t really exist.” Fuck off with that nonsense. You’re of no interest to me or people that are actually interested in other humans. If we could break them down, hear what emotional trauma they’ve endured… maybe then we’d get an understanding of why they need to be “woke.”

It’s funny… the woke culture is so about being “different” that they’re all the same. Would you like a scoop of vanilla or choco.. CHOCOLATE OFFENDS ME. STRAWBERRY IS A FLAVOR OF THE CIS-WHITE MALE AGENDA TO CRUSH THE QUEER MOVEMENT!

Offend us. Mock us. Take something that drives you insane to the point of treating the streets like your own Grand Theft Auto canvas, let it loose through some writing, a podcast, a video, a rant, a painting, music, etc. Just don’t actually go GTA on us or even them. It’s not their fault. Hopefully we can save the woke culture. Some of them are too weak and confused to save right now. My guess is that they tried to be themselves when they were younger, got made fun of, needed to fit in, so instead of being unique they had to be part of the … unique movement? “That’ll teach people to be themselves!”

We all need to endure some struggle to grow. A hermit crab needs to be vulnerable when it leaves it’s first shell to move to another one. It leaves what’s been its’ source of comfort and safety, exposes itself and crawls to the next shell of it’s liking. For that brief instant, the hermit crab cannot hide, cannot defend itself, and is its “authentic self.” It also draws a painting of it’s take on the modern establishment’s take on the turmoil of the war efforts in Ukraine. Then it reaches its’ new, bigger shell and grows.

Be real, be you, and fuck yourself. Then tell me to fuck myself and make fun of my bald head. Slap me in the face and call me Sally. Whatever. Life’s too short to be offended.

About krisoakey

Simply a man playfully chasing enlightenment while encouraging others to join him through mockery, logical anomalies, and hand holding...LOTS of hand holding
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